The One Thing They Had In Common
by emeralds-from-mountains
Summary: Xander dies and returns as Buffy’s angel. But when he chooses to make himself seen by Buffy, will she feel more than just friendship love? And even if she does, how will they be able to be together?
1. Chapter 1

One Thing They Had in Common  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Buffy, they're all Joss and a couple of other people's. Really.  
  
Summary: Xander dies and returns as Buffy's angel. But when he chooses to make himself seen by Buffy, will she feel more than just friendship love? And even if she does, how will they be able to be together? (obviously B/X)  
  
Note: The Spike and Buffy sexcapades never happened. (thank God!)  
  
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The demon was much worse than they had expected. It was larger and stronger than the vampire had described when Buffy had been threatening it with holy water and a cross.  
  
"Watch out!" Buffy shouted, ducking the demon's tail. Xander swiped at it with his sword and found himself half way across the room. Willow and Tara were chanting some sort of spell that didn't seem to be working.  
  
Suddenly, the demon grabbed hold of Anya.  
  
Xander saw the demon snap Anya's neck and fury raced through his body. He launched himself forward with his sword and thrust it into the demon's body. It roared in fury, spinning to face Xander. Xander backed away as the demon yanked the sword from its body. He could hear Buffy screaming his name.  
  
The demon raised the sword and thrust it into Xander's stomach. He gasped in pain and looked down at the sword protruding from his abdomen. Slowly, he sank to his knees. He could see Buffy run towards him and leap onto the demon's back. She snapped its neck then came to kneel beside Xander even before the demon slumped to the ground.  
  
"Xander," she murmured, putting her arms around him. "Oh God."  
  
Xander looked down at himself to see the front of his shirt soaked in blood. In that instant, he knew he was dying.  
  
"Oh God, Willow! Call 911!" Buffy pulled him into her lap. "It's okay, Xand. You're gonna be okay."  
  
Xander managed to shake his head, swallowing hard. "Buffy, I-I'm dying."  
  
"No you're not," Buffy told him firmly, tears pooling in her eyes.  
  
"Y-yes I am." He paused, seeing Anya's body lying a few feet away. "Give her a nice funeral, please? Don't worry about me."  
  
"No, Xander," Buffy said, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You're going to be fine."  
  
"Buffy, s-stop lying," Xander replied, trying to keep his own tears in check. He could feel himself growing weaker with each passing moment. "J- just tell everyone th-that I l-loved them v-very much."  
  
"Xander…" Buffy tenderly brushed his hair back from his forehead.  
  
He managed to smile as her beautiful face grew dimmer. "I love you." He paused, his voice growing lower and the room going out of focus. "A-at least I went out fighting."  
  
And he died.  
  
+++  
  
"No!" Buffy shook Xander when his eyes fell shut and his body went limp in her arms. "Xander, please, wake up!" She pulled him closer to her, pressing her face into his hair. "Xander…"  
  
She saw Willow come running towards them then stop short upon seeing the sight of Xander. Wordlessly, she fell to her knees. She put her face in her hands and started to sob.  
  
They stayed like that, until the ambulance arrived. Buffy reluctantly let them take Xander from her arms and onto the stretcher. They made futile attempts to revive him, but finally pronounced him dead.  
  
While they called for the coroner, Willow slowly came to stand next to the stretcher. The paramedics had covered him with a blanket but his white hand stuck out from beneath it. She tenderly stroked it, tears coursing down her cheeks.  
  
Buffy sat against the wall, staring numbly at her two best friends, one alive but broken, the other gone forever.  
  
  
  
Please R&R! More chapters coming soon! 


	2. Chapter 2

Xander was flying very very fast. He felt like he was going to throw up. He kept on shooting up and up and up…  
  
And then, somehow, he landed. He grunted with the impact but the ground was actually fairly soft.  
  
He glanced down at himself and saw that his shirt was clean of blood and there was no sign of the sword that had killed him.  
  
"Um, hello?" he called tentatively. He couldn't see anything around him, only a gray mist. He looked down and saw that he appeared to be sitting on the mist as well. Slowly, he got to his feet. "Could someone please clue me in?"  
  
He heard very low, muffled voices. Squinting, Xander could make out some tiny shapes in the distance. He looked around then began to walk towards them.  
  
As he came closer, he realized it was a long line of people, all talking to each other excitedly. Some looked sad while others looked anxious.  
  
"Uh, excuse me?" Xander tapped the shoulder of a woman standing in front of him. To his surprise, his fingers went right through her shoulder.  
  
She turned around. "Yes?"  
  
Xander glanced down at himself then poked at his stomach. His finger didn't go through. "Huh."  
  
"Oh if you're wondering about why I'm like this it's because I'm just a soul. A demon took my body," the woman told him.  
  
"Oh." Xander took that in. "So you're dead."  
  
The woman nodded. "And so are you, kiddo. Unless you're in the wrong dimension."  
  
Xander clearly remembered being stabbed. "N-no I'm in the right place. Uh, what's this line for?"  
  
The woman pointed at the three people facing the head of the line. "They're going to judge us. Y'know, tell us if we're going to go to heaven, hell, be an angel, that sort of thing."  
  
"Oh."  
  
They waited for a long time before they reached the three people. They looked human, except they had golden skin and silver eyes and hair. Each had a different colored jewel in their hair.  
  
"Madeline Gormich," the woman in front of Xander said.  
  
The three, standing in a line, touched their fingertips together then one pointed wordlessly to the left.  
  
The woman smiled. "See ya kid. Good luck." She took one step to the left and disappeared.  
  
Xander swallowed hard as he stepped up. "Uh, Alexander Harris."  
  
The three touched their fingertips together again then their eyes shot wide open.  
  
"Finally!" one of them shouted. "He has arrived."  
  
Xander frowned, glancing around as the others turned to stare at him. "Uh…huh?"  
  
"You will be a guardian angel," the one with the blue jewel said in its silky voice.  
  
"Really?"  
  
Another nodded. "Yes. To the Slayer."  
  
+++  
  
Buffy slowly opened the door to Xander's apartment then immediately backed out. "I-I can't…"  
  
Giles gently pushed her forward. "Go on."  
  
He had flown in the day after Buffy called him about Xander and Anya's deaths.  
  
"But-"  
  
"Xander told me it was here." Giles guided her into the apartment. "I'll check his bedroom. You check around the living room."  
  
Giles went into the bedroom, feeling his sense of loss grow. Everything was exactly as Xander had left it. The bed was unmade and a pillow rested on the floor. The newspaper lay strewn across the nightstand. A jacket was draped over the chair. The door to the bathroom was ajar.  
  
Giles slowly made his way across the room then sat on the bed. He opened the drawer to the nightstand and began to search. He found things that he never thought Xander would have had. There was a pile of old newspaper clippings telling of the deaths of various Sunnydale High students in the corner. Giles quickly shut the drawer and checked the next one. In it lay two picture frames. One was of Xander, Willow and Buffy, most likely a few years ago. They all were laughing and Xander was making bunny ears behind Willow's head. Willow had one hand up, trying to push him aside. Buffy was watching them, apparently amused.  
  
Tears welled in Giles' eyes as he put the picture down on the bed next to him. The next picture was of Xander and Anya, their arms around each other. It was from the engagement announcement Anya insisted on having in the newspaper.  
  
Giles swiped at his eyes, taking a deep breath. Then he frowned, seeing that the back of the picture frame was sticking out. He pulled it out and found an old envelope.  
  
"Found it!" he called to Buffy. He emerged from the bedroom, opening the envelope carefully.  
  
It read, The Will of Alexander Harris.  
  
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Comments are always welcome! 3rd chapter up soon! 


	3. Chapter 3

Xander's eyes widened in shock. "Me? Buffy's guardian angel?"  
  
The three nodded at the same time.  
  
The one with the red jewel said, "We have been waiting for a very long time for you to come. We've had others watching over her, but none yet who really care for her the way you do."  
  
Xander rubbed a hand over his face, trying to absorb this. "So I'm going to be watching over Buffy and making sure nothing happens to her?"  
  
"That's right," the one with the yellow jewel said.  
  
"So I really am dead then, huh?" Xander took a deep breath. He suddenly realized that he was never going to be the same again. He might be able to see his friends but they wouldn't be able to see him. He would never get to train with Buffy, get scolded at by Giles, make Willow laugh, marry and love Anya…Anya.  
  
"Where's Anya?" he demanded.  
  
The three looked at him blankly.  
  
"Anya? She died the same day I did?"  
  
"Full name please," yellow jewel said.  
  
"Uh…well she called herself Anya Emerson, but I guess, maybe Anyanka?"  
  
They three widened their eyes and gasped.  
  
"That demon? She is in hell of course!"  
  
"What?" Xander took a step toward them. "What do you mean?"  
  
"She was a demon. She is in our hell, not the demonic one."  
  
"B-but no!" Xander cried, taking another step towards them. "She's not a demon anymore! She was human."  
  
Red jewel shook its head. "No. She never atoned for her sins, unlike the vampire with a soul. She showed no regret for the wrongs she did to men for over a century."  
  
Xander looked at the ground in disbelief. A tear trailed down his cheek and fell to the ground, only to be swallowed up by the mist.  
  
"Is there any way I can get her out of there?" Xander asked. "Please. I- I'll switch places with her."  
  
They shook their heads.  
  
"Once one enters, one cannot leave," the blue jewel told him.  
  
Xander closed his eyes.  
  
"Soon your pain will fade," yellow jewel said. "Right now, you have a job to do."  
  
"No way," Xander spat at them. "Not until you let Anya out."  
  
"Sorry, nothing can be done. You will go back to earth. They will not see or hear you, yet you will be able to see and hear them. Protect her and guide her. Return to us often."  
  
With that, Xander felt himself falling. He landed on hard ground this time.  
  
"Ouch." He looked around and realized he was in his own apartment. He saw Giles and Buffy sitting on the couch, reading something. "Hey-" He remembered that they wouldn't hear him and sighed. He came to stand beside Buffy and looked down at the paper. His own eyes welled up when he realized what it was.  
  
+++  
  
The Will of Alexander Harris.  
  
Hey, you guys. You know, this isn't a professional will, just something I'm writing while on my "discovering myself" journey. Cause, you know, I realized that if I die soon, you guys will never know how I really feel (and who's going to get my stuff!)  
  
If you're reading this, then I'm dead. Giles, nice going, you found it. I hope you didn't freak out too much when I told you about this will. I'm not trying to be morbid, but it's just something I think I should be doing.  
  
So, let's see. I'll probably be adding to this later on, but right now, here's what I have to say:  
  
I sure hope I went out good. In battle, not something dumb like not looking both ways before crossing the street, or something.  
  
Here's my little messages in no particular order (don't cry too much, I'm really not worth it)  
  
Willow: You are the best friend I ever had and I love you for always being there for me and not getting annoyed with me like all my teachers did. You know, I don't have a lot of friends. In elementary school, I did, but now, in high school, they all seem to have drifted away. For a long time, it was just you and Jesse and now that he's gone, it's just you. But that's okay.  
  
Make sure you never lose what you have with Tara. It seems pretty special-by the way, too bad I never learned anything naughty about the two of you!  
  
Anyway, enough of the sap, here's the part I know you want to hear-I want you to go into my closet and find the blue box. That's for you.  
  
I'll miss you so much, but don't worry about me. I'll be fine.  
  
Giles: G-man! I know, I know, you're amazed that I'm still bothering you, even when I'm not alive. Listen, I just want to let you know how much I wanted to call you Dad all these years. After all, you're pretty much the only real father I've ever known. So thanks for that. Thanks for listening to all my problems and for taking me in at night when my parents got especially drunk.  
  
Don't worry, I got stuff for you too! There's a couple of dusty old books that I thought you might like somewhere under my bed. You can also have all my old albums-they're probably collectors items now.  
  
Take care of the others for me. Make sure they don't get too crazy.  
  
Buffy: You changed me so much. You gave me a reason to live and I don't think I could ever truly thank you for that. Don't ever give up if the slaying gets hard. Keep on going, for me, for Dawn, for everyone. You're one of the bravest people I know, and I know, even if you lost your slaying powers, you'd still be fighting the good fight. Dawn told me what you said and I agree-the hardest thing in life is to live, but keep on doing that.  
  
Buff, we've had some scary experiences, but (major confession here) I don't think I've ever stopped loving you throughout it all. I know, I know, you love Angel but I just wanted you to know that.  
  
For you, I've got plenty. Give Dawn my stereo and TV-she'll enjoy it. You can take whatever else you want from my place. Give the rest to charity, will ya?  
  
Anya: New love is scary but you kept me sane throughout it. Even with your crazy ways and I love you for that. I hope you're okay without me. Try to find someone new, okay? It shouldn't be too hard-you're a beautiful person, inside and out. I love you so much and I only wish we could have binded that love on our wedding day.  
  
I bought a wedding band for you. It's in a small gray box on the shelf in the closet. You don't have to wear it, but just keep it so you don't forget me.  
  
Spike: Yes even you're included here. Watch over everyone. Keep them in line especially Dawn. Oh yeah, and you can take the lamp.  
  
Alright, I guess that's all the most important people in my life. Take care, keep on going or else I'll have to haunt you.  
  
+++  
  
Buffy had never been so moved in her entire life. She cried silently as Giles carefully folded up the paper and put it back in the envelope. Then he pulled her into a hug. She felt a dampness on her forehead and realized Giles was crying too.  
  
"It wasn't fair," Buffy whispered. "He was so brave and good. Why did he have to die?"  
  
"I know," Giles replied. "But life isn't fair. It was his time, and I only wish we could bring him back. But we can't."  
  
"Let's go," Buffy said suddenly. "I-I don't want to stay in here anymore."  
  
Giles nodded and followed her to the car.  
  
Xander watched them go, tears streaming down his face. He didn't think he had ever cried this much in his life, except for when Buffy had died. He sank to the ground, putting his head in his arms, crying not only for his friends, but also for himself. For all that he had lost, that he would never get to experience.  
  
"I hate this!" he shouted, looking up. "Why can't you just let me stay in heaven?"  
  
"Because you are the only one who can look after her," a voice replied. "Now go after them."  
  
Xander wiped his eyes and sniffled. "Fine. I'll protect her. But I'm only doing this for her, not for you guys."  
  
He got to his feet and glanced out the window to see Buffy and Giles in a car, driving away. "Now how am I supposed to catch up with them?"  
  
And suddenly, he was in the car with them, Buffy's golden hair blowing in his face. Xander shifted. "Okay, that works."  
  
"You will always be drawn to her, no matter where she is," the voice told him.  
  
"I still kind of feel like he's still around, you know?" Buffy was saying to Giles. "Like, if I call him, he'll answer the phone."  
  
Giles nodded. "I know what you mean."  
  
They drove on in silence until they reached Buffy's house. Xander climbed out of the car with them and was their shadow as they walked up the walk and went inside the house.  
  
Willow was sitting on the couch and Dawn was in the chair. She had her legs tucked up under her and she was staring into space, rather than the magazine in her hands. Willow was silently surfing the web on her computer. Tara sat next to her, glancing every so often at what was on the screen.  
  
"Hey," Buffy said. The three girls looked up.  
  
"Did you find the will?" Tara asked.  
  
Buffy nodded and handed it to Willow.  
  
"Does it say anything in there about me?" Dawn asked, turning around in her chair.  
  
Buffy nodded and gave her a tiny smile. "You get his stereo and TV."  
  
"I-I do?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Dawn shook her head and turned back around. "I don't want it."  
  
Willow opened the will and began reading. Xander suddenly wished he had made his message to her a bit more light hearted as tears began streaming down the Wicca's face.  
  
"Wow," she whispered once she finished.  
  
"Sorry we didn't get any of the stuff," Buffy said. "But I-I just couldn't…"  
  
"It's okay," Willow said. She wiped her tears away. "Too bad Anya won't be able to read this."  
  
"Yes." Giles took off his glasses and cleared his throat. "Um I will go back there later and retrieve whatever I can."  
  
"Thanks," Willow replied.  
  
There was silence.  
  
"So," Buffy said in an unnaturally loud voice. "We were thinking about going to the funeral parlor to get some information. You know, pick out caskets, get the tombstone made, that sort of thing."  
  
Xander suddenly realized that they were going to have his funeral soon. He had to stay and protect Buffy, which meant…  
  
"No," he said aloud. "No, I'm not going to my own funeral!" He stared up at the ceiling. "Get someone else to watch over her then because I can't go to my own funeral!"  
  
The voice responded, "You must stay by her side always."  
  
Xander shook his head. "I'm not going to watch myself get buried. I-I can't. It's already hard enough dealing with the fact that I'm…" He trailed off, not wanting to say the words.  
  
"But you know that you are. You do not have to see yourself if you do not wish to. Just keep your eyes on her."  
  
Xander closed his eyes, sliding down the wall to the floor. He hated this. He wished that he was just a normal guy who would go to heaven. He had been normal his whole life. Why did it have to change now?  
  
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Comments always welcome and desired! Next chapter up soon! 


	4. Chapter 4

Giles retrieved the blue box from Xander's closet later that evening then got the books out from under the boy's bed. He also found the wedding ring Xander had for Anya. He decided to put it on the girl's finger before her burial. That was where it belonged.  
  
Giles crept quietly back into Buffy's house, not wanting to wake the others. Buffy was out patrolling, probably trying to get her mind off of things.  
  
When he walked into the living room, he was surprised to see Willow sitting there in the dark. She looked up when he entered.  
  
"Do you have it?" she asked quietly.  
  
Giles nodded and handed the box to her. He then looked at the books in his hand. One was a fiction novel about a magic librarian. Giles chuckled softly at that. The other was a familiar hard-covered one. Carefully, he opened it and inside was a note.  
Giles-Went back and got this dusty old thing for ya. Hopefully I'll remember to give it back to you-Xander.  
  
Giles ran his fingers down the spine of the book. It was the one the vampire had stolen for Druscilla's healing spell. He suddenly realized that he had never remembered that it was missing.  
  
"Oh wow," Willow murmured suddenly.  
  
Giles came over to sit next to her on the couch and was shocked at what filled it. Ashes.  
  
Willow gingerly pulled out a letter taped to the lid.  
  
Wills-Please don't freak out and drop this box but these are Jesse's ashes from when I had to stake him. Please, use whatever savings I have to buy him a nice tombstone and a spot at one of our many cemeteries. I haven't really been able to afford it but I've got a little stash saved up at the bank.-Xander  
  
Willow put a hand over her mouth as she stared at the ashes. "Oh my God."  
  
Giles carefully took the box off of her lap and put the lid back on tightly. "We'll get something nice for him."  
Willow nodded. "I can't believe he saved them all these years."  
"He was his best friend," Giles said. "And he had to kill him, even though it was really the demon."  
Willow started to cry and Giles put an arm around her comfortingly. Tears filled his eyes as well and the two cried together over their lost friend.  
  
+++  
  
Buffy walked through the cemetery, only pausing every now and then to stake a vampire with precision and ease.  
  
"Buffy."  
She whirled around to see Spike standing behind her. "What?"  
He looked a bit sheepish as he stepped towards her. "I heard about the kid and his girlfriend. I'm sorry."  
"Thank you." Buffy turned to walk away.  
  
Spike hurried to catch up with her. "If you need anything..."  
"No I'm fine."  
"I can take over patrolling for you if you want."  
Buffy shook her head. "It's okay." She paused. "Thank you for offering."  
  
They walked on together in silence before Buffy spoke.  
  
"He wrote something to you in his will."  
Spike raised his eyebrows. "He had a will?"  
Buffy nodded. "Yeah. Um, he said that he wants you to watch over us and especially Dawn. Oh yeah and he said you can have his lamp."  
Spike chuckled softly at that. "He did, did he?" He shook his head. "You know, I have to say, even though I didn't like him, I did respect him. That kid had more balls than I'd ever seen on most humans. And he really cared about your lot which is surprising considering that place he's grown up in."  
Buffy frowned. "What do you mean?"  
"Oh come on," Spike scoffed. "I lived with him for only two days and saw what kind of home life he's got. His parents kept me awake the whole bloody night with their ranting. I've seen the kid more than once walk over to Giles' house beat up and limping."  
  
Buffy's eyes were wide. "I-I had no idea."  
  
"Look a little closer at your friends, Slayer. Maybe next time you'll be able to help them before they get themselves killed."  
  
Spike knew the blow was coming before Buffy even lifted her fist. He went down, a hand over his cheek.  
  
"Don't ever talk about my friends like that again," Buffy said menacingly as he started to get up. She kicked him and he went down again. Suddenly, she went over to a bench on the sidewalk and lifted it up then threw it against the wall of a mausoleum.  
  
Spike slowly got to his feet, watching Buffy begin to cry. Wordlessly, he put his arms around her and she fell into them.  
  
+++  
Xander had never felt more helpless than at the moment Buffy had begun to cry. He couldn't believe Spike knew about everything that had gone on in his house. The only person he had ever told was Giles. Now Buffy knew and the others would soon find out.  
  
Xander had followed her the whole night, whispering in her ear when a vampire was about to approach, watching her in action.  
  
Now, he came to stand by her as she cried onto Spike's shoulder. The vampire rubbed her back comfortingly and made soothing noises. Xander tentatively reached out a hand to touch her hair. She couldn't feel him but maybe she could sense him.  
  
Xander knelt beside the slayer and gently touched her cheek. "It's okay," he whispered, staring at her tear-stained face. "I'm okay. You don't have to worry about me."  
  
Buffy sniffled and looked directly at him. For a second, his heart skipped a beat, but then he realized she wasn't really looking at him, but beyond him.  
  
"I'm okay now," she said, getting to her feet.  
"You sure, pet?" Spike asked.  
  
Xander was surprised at how human-like Spike was being. Xander followed the two as they walked home, his hand on Buffy's back, keeping strict watch for vampires or any other danger.  
  
As they reached an intersection, he heard the squeal of tires in the distance. Warning bells went off in his head and he instinctively tried to pull on Buffy's shoulder. His hands went right through her and he remembered that he couldn't directly protect her.  
  
Instead, he ran to the nearby bushes and began rustling them. Buffy paused and turned around, as did Spike.  
  
Suddenly, a silver car turned the corner and zoomed right over the spot that they would have been standing in if they hadn't stopped.  
  
"Whoa, that was close," Buffy said.  
"Yeah if we hadn't stopped..." Spike paused. "Maybe the kid's watching over us."  
Buffy glanced at him then smiled. "Maybe he is."  
  
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Chapter 5 will be up soon! Please review! 


	5. Chapter 5

Xander watched over Buffy for the rest of the week, learning new things about her everyday. He watched her sleep, saw her reprimand Dawn, guided her on her patrols.  
  
However, he did maintain his respect and consideration for her. He waited outside the bathroom when she was taking a shower or using the toilet. He did not look at her diary or watch her dress, even though he knew he could.  
  
He loved her too much.  
  
Sure, he loved and missed Anya greatly, but what he had with her couldn't compare to the way he felt about Buffy. Over the last few days, he had suddenly become thankful of his position of her guardian angel. He could see her whenever he wanted and he was truly her white knight now, protecting her from peril.  
  
"Tomorrow's the funeral," Buffy was saying as she came back into her room from the bathroom, wearing a robe and talking on the phone. "It's gonna be really tough. Giles said he would say a few words but I don't know if I can." She paused, listening. "I know. But I think I should. Hopefully, he'll hear me, Will. So he can know that we all cared about him so much even though we didn't even bother to find out what was going on at home." She sighed. "Alright, so you and Tara will come by at nine? Okay. Bye." She pressed the button on the phone then put it down on her dresser.  
  
Xander took in the sight of her as she stood by the lamp, her body suddenly encased in a golden glow. Then she turned to open a drawer. Xander watched her remove a bracelet and took a step closer. It was the one he had given her on the day of cheerleader tryouts. He had gotten it inscribed Yours, Always.  
  
Wow that really is true, he thought as she tenderly ran her fingers over the inscription. Back then, it had really only been a crush but over the years it had blossomed into something greater than he could have guessed.  
  
Buffy put the bracelet back into the drawer carefully then shut it. She then took off her robe and Xander quickly turned away. He caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror and realized she had been wearing her pajamas underneath. Breathing a sigh of relief, he stared at her as she climbed into bed and shut off the light.  
  
Her face was bathed in moonlight and he watched as a single tear slid down her face. The same thing had happened every night, but she never allowed herself to cry more than that one tear.  
  
And just as he did every night, Xander wiped it away then kissed her on the forehead and sat on the bed, contently watching her as she slept.  
  
+++  
  
Xander paced as he waited for the voice to answer his question. "Hello? You still there?"  
Finally, there was a response. "It is possible, but it's forbidden. You cannot show yourself to the one that you protect. You could be a distraction and it could have dangerous effects on them."  
  
"But I have to talk to her," Xander begged. "Please. I'm in love with her."  
"Do not ask again."  
Xander didn't care what the voice said. He was going to do it anyway.  
  
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Due to great demand () I put up this chapter fast and since this one is short the next one is going to be longer and up very soon. 


	6. Chapter 6

The funeral lasted for a long time, despite the few people who attended. Anya had had a short ceremony and now they stood gathered by Xander's grave. All who were there had spoken, except for Dawn. Xander's parents had spoken briefly and hadn't said anything that couldn't be applied to anyone's son.  
  
Tara had gone first, talking about how brave he had been and how kind he had been to her when she had first gotten together with Willow. Cordelia, who came from Los Angeles, said she forgave Xander for everything that had happened between them. Giles went next, telling of how proud he was of the boy and ending with calling Xander his son. Willow had cried a lot during hers but told the story of how she had first met him.  
  
Buffy went last.  
  
She took a deep breath as she stood by his casket, before the others. "Instead of talking about Xander, I hope you don't mind if I talk to him instead." She turned to the casket where he lay, stiff and unmoving, so different form the boy he had been when he was alive. "Xander, I'm sorry. I'm sorry we didn't know enough about you. I'm sorry we drifted apart when me and Will went to college. And I'm sorry I took you for granted when you were alive. But you taught me an important lesson. I have to look at things more closely and not take things for granted." She looked down as tears ran down her cheeks. "A-and I just wanted to let you know," she added, with a tiny smile, "now that I think about it-I should have given us a chance. Not trying to love you was the biggest regret I've ever had but at least I realize it now. And maybe someday, I'll be at peace with that."  
  
With that, she turned and rejoined the others.  
  
The funeral ended a few minutes later and they slowly went to their cars. Cordelia hugged everyone goodbye before climbing into Angel's car and driving off.  
  
Buffy drove Dawn home in silence while the others piled into Giles' rental car.  
  
And when Xander suddenly appeared in front of the car, she slammed on the brakes and skidded to a halt on the side of the road.  
  
+++  
"Okay, I wasn't expecting to be in front of her car," Xander muttered as he hurried to the car to make sure Buffy and Dawn were okay.  
  
He had been sitting underneath a tree at the edge of the cemetery, his own funeral going on a few feet away. He found a spell to make himself visible to people for forty-eight hours, as well as have solid form. That was all he wanted. He had cast the spell on himself and it went into effect just as Buffy began to drive away. Then he willed himself to her and found himself staring at her car heading straight for him.  
  
Xander opened the driver's side door and Buffy stared at him, obviously shocked.  
  
"Xan-Xander?" she mumbled, incredulously.  
  
"In the flesh." He paused. "Well sort of."  
Slowly, she climbed out of the car. "A-are you a vamp-?"  
Xander shook his head. "Test me."  
With trembling hands, Buffy pulled a cross out of her bag and pressed it against his arm. Nothing happened.  
  
Meanwhile, Dawn had climbed out of the car and was tentatively approaching him.  
  
"Are you really back?"  
Xander paused. He suddenly realized the truth that was behind what the voice had told him. He would be going away again in two days. He would only be with them again for a short while and then he would be gone and they would have to hurt all over again.  
  
Taking a deep breath, he shook his head slowly. "Only for forty-eight hours. Then it's back to..." He decided then to hide the fact that he was Buffy's guardian angel for a while. "Uh, well, you know." He pointed up.  
  
"I-I don't understand," Buffy said as she climbed out of the car. "Why are you here?"  
"Uh, well, I, uh," Xander stammered. "I, uh, talked to a few people because I, um, have some unfinished business to take care of."  
You idiot, he thought, mentally smacking himself. This voice guy was right. This was a bad idea. I can't tell her why I'm here or who I am now.  
  
"What kind of unfinished business?" Buffy questioned slowly.  
  
"Oh, well, you know. Business. That needs to be finished." Xander cleared his throat. "Enough of the third degree. Listen, I realized that the others might be a little wigged as you guys were, so could you kind of keep this between us?" He looked alternately at each girl.  
  
"I-I guess," Buffy replied. Dawn nodded.  
  
Xander clapped his hands together. "Great! Excellent."  
  
Suddenly, Buffy grasped him in a tight hug. "Oh God, I missed you."  
  
Slowly, Xander brought up his arms around her, pressing his face into her hair. She smelled like raspberries. Her hair was soft and silky against his cheek. He closed his eyes, savoring the moment. "I missed you too."  
When Buffy pulled away and looked up at him, there were tears in her eyes. "I-I just wish that you could stay."  
Xander brushed a strand of hair from her eyes. "Me too." He had to use everything in him to keep himself from leaning over and kissing her. Her blue eyes glistened up at him.  
  
Suddenly, it was all worth it.  
  
+++  
  
"Whatever it was, it wasn't worth it," Buffy said to Xander in hushed tones late that night.  
  
Xander blinked. "What?"  
Buffy was setting up a corner for him to sleep in for the night. The next day, he was going to go on his `mission'.  
  
"Do you have any idea how much this is going to kill me and Dawn when you leave? You could have at least left her out of this."  
Xander was completely taken aback. Before, Buffy had seemed so happy to see him. Now...  
  
"But I-"  
  
Buffy shook her head. "I don't even know how we're going to keep you from Willow and the others." She tossed a pillow into the corner then looked directly at him. "I don't even know what reason you could have possibly had that was so important for you to do this."  
Xander looked right back at her. "I-I did it because..."  
"Why? What's your unfinished business?"  
"I'm in love you."  
Buffy froze.  
  
Xander immediately wished he could take the words back.  
  
"What did you say?" Buffy whispered.  
  
Xander looked down, scuffing his feet on the carpet. "Nothing."  
  
"You said you were in love me. What did you mean?" Buffy took a step closer to him.  
  
Xander shook his head. "I-I don't know. I was just...talking crazy."  
"No you weren't." Buffy grabbed his hand and led him to the bed. "Xander, there's something you're not telling me. What is it?"  
Xander looked into those eyes and knew he couldn't lie to her. He took a deep breath and told her the entire story.  
  
A single tear ran down Buffy's cheek when he was done. Wordlessly, she pressed her lips against his. A bit shocked, Xander froze but after a second, kissed her back. They pulled away at the same time and just stared at each other.  
  
"Xander, I'm so sorry," Buffy whispered, leaning her forehead against his. "I'm sorry I didn't realize what I had in you until now. When I read your will...and then Spike told me all that stuff...and finding out what was in the box for Willow and what you gave to Giles and Anya..." She shook her head. "Something happened. Something I never expected to happen. And the fact that you were protecting me the whole time that you were gone just..." She took a deep breath and let it out loudly.  
"I'm sorry too," Xander replied. "I shouldn't have come back like this. I should have known how much it would have upset you and the others." He reached up to tenderly touch her cheek. "It's just..."  
Buffy nodded. "I know. I understand now."  
  
After a minute, Xander got up and started to go over to his corner. But Buffy grabbed his hand.  
  
"Stay with me."  
Surprised, Xander slowly climbed into bed next to Buffy. She wrapped his arms around him, resting her head against his shoulder. Xander put an arm around her, gently kissing her on the forehead just as he had done many nights before. Only this time, she knew.  
  
Buffy fell asleep after a few minutes but Xander stayed wide awake the entire night, not needing sleep. And instead of watching her as usual, he thought.  
  
He thought about what he was going to do. He didn't want to leave her. He couldn't. And after holding her and being this near to her, he couldn't go back to just watching her without her being able to see or hear him.  
  
What am I going to do? he thought miserably throughout the entire night until slivers of the dawn came through the blinds.  
  
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Chapter six soon.... 


	7. Chapter 7

Dawn knocked once on Buffy's door the next morning. "Buffy?"  
"Dawn? Are you alone?"  
"Yeah."  
The door opened a crack and Dawn pushed it the rest of the way open then shut it carefully behind her.  
  
Buffy was making her bed. Xander was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Where is he?"  
Buffy nodded towards the bathroom. "He just washing up a little."  
  
"Oh." Dawn nodded slowly. "So, what's going on? Do you know what he's here for?"  
  
Buffy looked startled. "Uh, no. H-he hasn't said anything about it. And I don't think we should pry."  
  
Xander came into the room just then. "Hey Dawnster."  
"Hi." Dawn watched as he went over to the dresser, accidentally bumping into Buffy. They both started.  
  
"Sorry," they said simultaneously.  
  
Xander cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. He went over to the mirror and smoothed down his hair.  
  
Dawn glanced at the corner and noticed there was a blanket and a few pillows. The pillows had no dents in them and the blankets were perfectly straight and unwrinkled. Slowly, Dawn put two and two together and blurted out, "Did you guys have sex last night?"  
Both of them whirled to face her, looking taken aback.  
  
"What? No," Xander said quickly. "Where'd you get a crazy idea like that?"  
  
"W-well the blankets are all unwrinkly and you guys are acting weird around each other..." Dawn trailed off. "And I'm jumping to conclusions, aren't I?"  
Buffy nodded. "Uh, listen, why don't you go down to the kitchen and make sure Willow and Tara don't come up here?"  
Dawn obediently went downstairs.  
  
"It was so weird," Willow was saying to Tara when Dawn entered. She stood at the counter pouring milk into a bowl of cereal. "I mean, it was more of a vision than a dream, you know?"  
"What are you guys talking about?" Dawn asked, sitting on a stool.  
  
Willow glanced at Tara. "I just saw this weird image that last night I went into Buffy's room to check on her. Maybe I was sleepwalking. But she was lying in bed with a guy who looked a lot like...Xander." She sighed. "Maybe it was my mind and what I was seeing just mixing together crazy pictures."  
Dawn nodded quickly. "Yeah, that was probably it."  
+++  
"Alright, let's go," Buffy said. She climbed out of the window and hopped easily down to the bottom.  
  
Xander took a deep breath and followed, feeling the tree for branches thick enough to hold him. Suddenly, the branch he stood on snapped beneath his weight and with a shout, he fell. But Buffy was there, and helped cushion his fall as best as she could.  
  
"Ow," he muttered, getting to his feet. He glanced at her quickly. "Thanks for the save."  
"No problem." She shoved him playfully. "You're still a klutz, you know that?"  
Xander pretended to look offended. "No I did not know that." He pretended to trip over a crack in the sidewalk.  
  
Buffy laughed.  
  
The two walked on, joking and laughing until they reached the Magic Box. It had been closed up for a long time as they decided what they were going to do with it.  
  
Buffy unlocked the door and they went inside. She made sure all the blinds were closed.  
  
Xander sat at the round table and Buffy sat beside him.  
  
"So what-"  
  
"Hey!"  
They both whirled in their seats to see Spike standing by the door that leads to the training room.  
  
"You're supposed to be dead!" Spike ran forward and grabbed Xander by the collar. "A vampire, eh? Well, I'd like you to know that I can beat up vampires!" He raised his fist.  
  
"Spike no!" Buffy shoved her chair back getting to her feet. "He's not a vampire."  
"Oh. A zombie then?" Spike raised his hand again and Xander winced, ready to duck.  
  
"No, Spike, let him go. He's just back. Sort of. Just for a little while."  
"Oh." Spike let go of Xander. "Sorry `bout that. You see the dead walking around..."  
Xander nodded. "I know."  
  
Spike rubbed his hands together. "So what's the deal?"  
  
"Unfinished business," Buffy and Xander said in unison. They glanced at each other then quickly looked away.  
  
Spike nodded slowly. "I see. Well, I don't care so..." He turned to walk away.  
  
"Oh wait!" Buffy cried after him. The vampire turned around. "Spike, you can't tell anyone about this. The only people who know are us three and Dawn and I'd like to keep it that way."  
  
"Uh, sure." With a tight smile, he left.  
  
"For some reason I don't feel comfortable having Spike know," Xander said.  
  
Buffy waved her hand. "He won't tell anyone."  
  
"Okay." Xander sighed. "So back to what we didn't start to talk about."  
  
"Right." Buffy paused, tapping her fingers on the table.  
  
"Alright, I'll start." Xander closed his eyes. "I think it's best if we just spend these next days apart. If we're together then it's just going to add to everything when I leave."  
  
Buffy nodded. "You're right. You're absolutely right." She shook her head. "But I don't like it." She sighed. "You know, I happen to have the crappiest timing in the world."  
  
Xander chuckled. "Can't argue with that. Why do you always fall for dead people anyway?" He had meant it as light hearted but Buffy winced. "Sorry. Didn't mean to bring him up."  
  
"It's okay. I guess we can't talk about this without bringing him up. Not to mention Anya..."  
"I love her. I loved her a lot." He half smiled. "Enough that even being here with you doesn't take away the pain of knowing where she is. Enough to face my fears of commitment. But with you..." He rested his hand on her cheek. "I could marry you right here right now."  
  
"I-I think I could too," Buffy replied, putting her hand over his. "Even though I still love Angel...I think it's good that he's in L.A. I'm starting to heal. And maybe starting to forget a little." Suddenly, she leaned forwards to kiss him on the lips. "Damn it, you should know that I can't be that close to you without kissing you."  
Xander grinned. "Now I know. And I'm not complaining." They kissed again.  
  
"I can't stay away from you for today and tomorrow," Buffy said when they pulled away. "Now that you're back, I can't know that you're out there and not be able to...do this." She made a small trail of kisses down his cheek and neck.  
  
Xander laughed. "Again with the not complaining."  
  
Buffy suddenly looked at him seriously. "I'm scared."  
Xander looked directly into her eyes and could see the fear. "I know."  
"I don't know if my heart could take losing you again. I mean, we could joke now but when those last few minutes are coming..." She swallowed hard. "I think I might die right along with you."  
  
Xander shook his head. "Oh come on, Buff, I'm sure you'll manage."  
"Oh yeah, just as well as I managed when I sent Angel to hell?"  
Xander grimaced. "Oh yeah."  
  
"You know, I think you're the only person who has made me want to live and die at the same time."  
  
"No," Xander said fiercely, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Buffy, I don't want to make you want to die. This is why I have to go now." He started to rise but Buffy grabbed his hand.  
  
"Xander, please stay. I-I don't want someone seeing you who shouldn't. It would put you and the rest of us in too much danger."  
  
Xander sighed and reluctantly sat back down. "Fine. I'll stay here. But we can't be close like this."  
Buffy nodded. "You're right. Listen, why don't you stay here and I'll go back home. They're probably wondering where I am. Hopefully Dawn came up with something."  
  
+++  
  
"Uh, Buffy?" Dawn stammered, her mind frantically swirling, trying to come up with something. "She, uh, she's..."  
Willow raised her eyebrows. "She's...?"  
  
"She's with Xander. I-I mean, she went t-to go visit his grave." Dawn swallowed hard. "You know, see how the tombstone turned out and stuff."  
  
"Oh." Willow nodded. "I was thinking about doing that today too." She glanced at Tara. "Maybe we should go now so we can catch up with Buffy."  
  
"But you can't! I-I mean, she probably, uh, wants to be alone and..." Dawn caught sight of Buffy quietly entering through the front door. "Look, she's home already." She hurried to her sister and loudly asked, "Buffy! Back from visiting Xander so soon?"  
Buffy looked stricken. "What? I wasn't visiting Xander."  
"No silly," Dawn said with a forced laugh. "I mean you went to his grave, right?"  
Buffy saw Willow and Tara standing in the doorway to the kitchen watching the scene with confusion. "Oh," she said, getting it. "Right. Yeah."  
  
"What did it say?" Willow asked as Buffy came into the kitchen.  
  
"Um, I-I don't really remember," Buffy told her after a second. "I, um...kinda wanted to block it out of my memory you know?"  
  
Willow nodded. "Yeah. I understand. Maybe I'll go down there later today."  
"Yeah." Buffy hoped that the tombstone was indeed up today. Then her eyes widened when she realized who might visit. "Oh God."  
"What is it?" Tara asked.  
  
"I, um, forgot. I have to go take care of something." She left, running to the cemetery as fast as her feet would take her.  
  
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The next chapter's coming soon...keep on reviewing! 


	8. Chapter 8

Xander stood in front of his tombstone.  
  
He moved his lips silently as he read the words.  
  
1 Alexander Lavelle Harris  
  
1981-2002  
  
Our White Knight  
  
A True Hero, The Bravest of Us All  
  
Xander knelt and ran his fingers over the cool smooth stone. He traced the engraved words with his fingertip.  
  
A single tear fell down his cheek. This was it. Now he truly understood that he was really dead. He hadn't paid attention at the funeral because he had been too busy with the spell. Xander leaned over, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyelids, desperate to stop the flow of tears that threatened to spill over. They fell anyway, dropping on the newly planted grass like rain.  
  
Xander knelt there for a long time, crying silently. He was really and truly dead. And he was going to spend the rest of, well, Buffy's life watching over her, but never having her.  
  
A hand touched his shoulder and he jumped but then realized who it was. Without saying a word, he turned and folded himself into Buffy's arms. She held him close as he sobbed against her shoulder.  
  
"It's gonna be okay," she whispered over and over.  
  
Finally, Xander was able to bring his emotions back under control and he slowly sat up, sniffling.  
  
"I'm sorry," he whispered.  
  
"No no," Buffy replied, gently brushing hair from his eyes. "It's okay. You know, I went through a lot of the same stuff when I…"  
  
Xander half-smiled. "You know, this is one thing I never thought we would have had in common."  
  
"Yeah," Buffy replied.  
  
"Let's get out of here," Xander said suddenly. "Cause you know, if someone looks at this tombstone and then sees me sitting here, they might get a little wigged."  
  
Buffy nodded and grabbed his arm, pulling him towards the woods. "Let's just walk around in here for a little while."  
  
Xander raised his eyebrows. "Dark forest? In Sunnydale? Are you really Buffy?"  
  
"It's not dark yet. Don't be a scardy-cat." Buffy pulled him into the woods and they walked together for a long time. Xander told Buffy things he had never told anyone else, not even Anya. He told her about his home life, his fears, his desires. Buffy truly let out how she felt about being the Slayer. She told him how much she hated it yet loved it at the same time. She told him about how she was feeling now, after being pulled out of heaven.  
  
And then, somehow, they found themselves kissing. Xander leaned against a tree, holding Buffy close, savoring the kiss. It was the most perfect kiss he could have ever created. They were in a beautiful forest together with a light breeze rustling their hair, the sun setting behind her, casting a glow on…  
  
"Sun's down," Xander said, suddenly breaking the kiss. "You should get home. They're probably worried."  
  
Buffy agreed reluctantly. "What's my excuse for being out this long?" They strolled towards her house, hand in hand.  
  
"Say you got into a fight with a demon." Xander grinned. "Gives a reason for why your hair is all messed up anyway."  
  
"Yeah cause you know how many of those demons are just walking around in the bright sunshine working on their tans," Buffy replied as she smoothed down her hair. "You'd better let me off here." She kissed him on the cheek. "Do you want to meet later?"  
  
Xander nodded. "Go patrol at about ten-ish. I'll meet you in, uh, my cemetery."  
  
Buffy nodded then quickly walked the rest of the way to her house, forcing herself to not look back.  
  
Why are you doing this to yourself? she reprimanded herself silently. Why are you falling more and more in love with him when you know he's going to be gone by tomorrow afternoon?  
  
Buffy sighed as she opened the front door.  
  
"Buffy, there you are," Willow cried, coming down the stairs. "We were worried. Where have you been?"  
  
"I've, uh, I went by the magic shop just to, you know, check up on things. And then, I…got some coffee and then just walked around for a while. I-I didn't realize how late it was until it started to get all dark." Buffy gave her an apologetic smile. "Sorry Will."  
  
Willow sighed. "It's okay. I guess I'm just getting too worked up because of…well you know."  
  
Buffy nodded then pushed past her, starting up the stairs, then pausing. "I'll start dinner in a few minutes. I'm going to go out patrol at around 9:30 okay?"  
  
"Sure." Willow paused. "I was just gonna go visit Xander's grave once you got home." She glanced out the window. "But it's kind of dark to be wandering around in cemeteries. I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow. Maybe Giles will take me."  
  
Buffy felt guilt weighing down heavily on her. "I'm sorry for staying out so late Will."  
  
"Oh no, it's okay Buffy. You had things you had to think about." She sighed. "I just wanted to see it. For closure, you know?"  
  
Buffy bit her lip then went the rest of the way up the stairs. She collapsed onto her bed and within a few minutes, Dawn came in, slamming the door shut behind her.  
  
"Where were you? You were with Xander weren't you?" she said accusingly.  
  
Buffy grabbed her sister by the arm, pulling her to sit down on the bed next to her. "Be quiet! Yes I was."  
  
Dawn pouted. "How come you don't take me? I want to see him too, you know."  
  
"Dawn, I don't want you seeing him. He's gonna stay away from here. It'll be best for everyone and for you." She looked down at her hands. "It's already gonna be tough for me when he's gone."  
  
Dawn peered at her sister. "You love him, don't you?" she asked quietly.  
  
Buffy nodded. "Sorry. I know you liked him too."  
  
Dawn was silent for a long time before she half-smiled and nudged her sister. "You can have him."  
  
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	9. Chapter 9

Xander walked along that evening, sticking close to the edge of the woods.  
  
Close access to a lot of stakes, he thought wryly.  
  
He chose a spot and stood there, his hands in his pockets, waiting for Buffy. Out of the corner of his eye he saw something move and turned to see a newborn vampire crawling out of a grave.  
  
Unsure of what to do, Xander ripped off a branch from a tree, holding it tightly as he crept up behind the vampire.  
  
At least I'm not in danger of dying, he thought. At least I hope not.  
  
With a battle cry, Xander leaped onto the back of the vampire. It snarled and threw him off. Xander landed with a grunt on the ground. He regained his footing quickly and raised his stake. The vampire grabbed his wrist and its eyes widened in surprise.  
  
"You don't have a pulse. But you're not one of us."  
  
"No I don't and no I most certainly am not," Xander replied as the vampire twisted his wrist, forcing him to drop the makeshift stake.  
  
The vampire growled, baring its teeth. "Well it doesn't matter because you tried to kill me and I'm going to do the same to you, even if I have to rip you apart with my bare hands!" He grabbed Xander by the throat and pinned him against a tree. Xander winced. Although he didn't have to breathe, having his windpipe crushed by the vampire's beefy hand was uncomfortable.  
  
Xander saw a flash of blond hair behind the vampire and he smiled.  
  
"What are you laughing at?" the vampire hissed.  
  
Xander watched as the tip of a stake suddenly protruded from its chest, apparently having been pushed in through his back. The vampire exploded into dust, revealing Buffy.  
  
Xander coughed, rubbing his throat. "Hey Buff. Thanks for the save."  
  
"You shouldn't be doing stuff like that," Buffy reprimand him. "It's dangerous."  
  
Xander shrugged. "I figured I'm dead already. Can't get any deader."  
  
Buffy smiled at that then paused. "Vamp." She spotted it before Xander did and shoved him out of the way. He fell to the ground near the woods but didn't attempt to get up, content about watching Buffy in action. She dodged the vampire's clumsy blows then delivered two of her own. She knelt, sweeping the vampire's legs out from under it.  
  
Xander was so intent on watching Buffy kneel and stake the vampire that he didn't hear the other vampire behind him until he felt a sudden pain in his back. He arched his back and grunted in pain. He heard Buffy shout his name as he struggled to turn around to see his attacker. It was a female vampire, holding the stake he had dropped before.  
  
Xander slumped to the ground as Buffy ran forward and staked the vampire in one swift motion. She ran to Xander, cradling him in her arms. The scene was all too familiar.  
  
"Oh God, Xander," she said, gently inspecting the wound.  
  
"It's ok," he gasped out, grimacing in pain. "I'm dead, this can't hurt me much. Except for the pain."  
  
Buffy gasped, staring at his hand. "No, Xander, it is hurting you." She held up his hand.  
  
"What? What is it?"  
  
"You're hand. I-it's disappearing." Suddenly Buffy's fingers slipped right through it. "I can't see it anymore." Her eyes were wide. "You getting hurt must somehow be making the spell wear off."  
  
"No it can't," Xander muttered.  
  
"Oh God, no," Buffy whispered, pulling Xander closer. She gripped his hand tightly as though holding it would keep it visible. "No, Xander, please don't leave me again." Her eyes filled with tears. "Do…do the spell again."  
  
"I can't," Xander said miserably. "I can only do it once." He could feel the spell wearing off, now creeping up his torso.  
  
"Xander, I love you," Buffy said, her voice cracking.  
  
"I love you too," Xander reached up with his invisibly hand to touch her cheek.  
  
Buffy wrapped her arms around him tighter. Xander closed his eyes. He wouldn't be able to stand it. In a second, Buffy wouldn't be his anymore.  
  
Suddenly, agonizing pain swept through Xander's body. He cried out, grimacing in pain. For a second, his vision clouded over and Buffy disappeared from his view. After another terrifying minute the pain subsided and Xander lay still, panting.  
  
I guess that's how the spell ends, he thought sadly.  
  
"Xander?"  
  
Buffy was staring at him with wide eyes.  
  
Xander frowned. "Buffy?"  
  
"Xander, I-I can see you," she said in disbelief.  
  
"What…" Xander panted heavily. Then he realized. He was breathing. His wound throbbed. He could still feel. With a trembling hand, he lifted it to his throat. There was a pulse.  
  
"I-I'm alive," he said in disbelief. He laughed, almost giddily. "Buffy, I'm alive!"  
  
"Wh-what?"  
  
He grabbed her hand and pressed it to her neck. He smiled broadly as he saw her eyes widen in shock. Then he grabbed her and gave her a long kiss. The most miraculous kiss of his life.  
  
"God, Buffy I can't believe it." Xander got to his feet. "I'm alive…and okay still injured." He almost fell over but Buffy caught him.  
  
"How is this possible?" Buffy asked in amazement.  
  
Xander shook his head. "I don't know. But it doesn't matter because I'm back, baby!"  
  
Buffy laughed then stopped. "Wait. Everyone else thinks you're already dead. You've got a grave and everything."  
  
Xander's eyes naturally wandered over to the spot where his tombstone should be. Only it wasn't there. He pulled Buffy over to the area and knelt, feeling the grass. Then he looked up and shouted, "I love you guys! You think of everything!"  
  
"They must've fixed it so that no one remembers you died," Buffy said slowly. She paused. "But I remember. I wonder if the others do."  
  
"We'll come to that when we get there. Right now, I have a question."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Can I pass out?"  
  
"Wait till we get to the hospital."  
  
Buffy held Xander close all the way there.  
  
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Epilogue coming soon! 


End file.
